Even a mouth should behave properly

I had a big problem in keeping my mouth shut. Don’t take it as in “she can’t keep secrets” way. I do can keep secrets. What I hardly could do is, keeping the sharp as a sword talking, for myself. I always failed to speak up to a person without being sarcastic once I don’t like the person or I’m dissapointed on the condition of what’s been planned.

This happened yesterday. A few friends of mine had this plan to go out and play. We’re in the state of not-in-a-good-mood. Plus we had nothing to do yesterday. So strikes an idea to go somewhere. I’ve been asking several times for the plan. It’s not that I don’t like it to be impulsive, but somehow I like it when I know where we’re about to go or when we’re gonna took off.

Finally, after bunch and bunch of SMSes. I got the latest news. Happy to hear the news, I mean, finally…… But sad as well. Why? Because it doesn’t fits me.The time just doesn’t fit well with my screwy policy theory. I had some problem going home late at night. Somehow mom usually go mad if I did.
So I, let my words flew easily from my mouth. Saying words I want to say. Improperly. I just say I can’t do this, I can’t do that. If it’s going to be like this, I think I’ll pass.

So stupiddd…… Why? Because I should’ve known that my words could kill. It could hurt others feeling. While I should’ve given a thought that this isn’t just about me. It’s about other people too. It’s a group plan. Not an individual one. Others priority should have been thought about too.

After I talk, blabbered all my complain. I regret it all. I said to myself, “what a fool! They had planned everything, and you ruined it. Everyone’s in a bad mood, and you make it even worse”. So I took my cellphone, type something and sent it to the person I complained to. I said “I’m sorry for misbehaving, and making your mood worse.” The replied came in saying “It’s okay. It’s not your fault” doesn’t relief me at all. Why? Because I know for sure. It’s hard to say it’s okay for something like this.

I hate myself. Yes, I really do. Because of the stupid unethical habit. Saying without thinking. It hurts other, and it hurts myself too knowing others are offended.

See? Even a mouth should behave properly. Start thinking something before saying anything. Because sometimes, words could kill.

* Truly sorry my dear friends. I promise I'll make it up to you guys. Love you! *